A month ago, I talked about why writers dislike their own writing.

Today, I’m taking a different tack. I’m sharing some of the sentences that bring me satisfaction when I re-read my manuscript.

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“The willow’s roots rose out of the earth in serpentine humps, like dozens of newly hatched river monsters.”

Since Eleanor is a character-driven novel, I have grouped the sentences by character. Hope you enjoy!


About Eleanor

1) She had speaking eyes and a late-blooming voice.

2) It had always seemed magical to Eleanor that, with a mere bend of her finger, she could beckon something as beautiful as a musical note into existence.

3) It is difficult to plot against a child who is playing “Au Clair de la Lune” on the harp.

About Maggie

4) She ignored [Eleanor] as the sun ignores its planets: proudly, grandly.

5) “When I describe a princess, the smoke will twist like falling curls. When I speak of ghosts, the sparks will look up and fear the stars.”

6) At last, she was no more than a patchwork of stories and a collection of souvenirs hidden in dark pockets.

About Edward

7) Edward was not an eavesdropper. He was not morally opposed to invasion of privacy, but he was morally opposed to being interested in other people.

8) He just needed to find the right words–and it couldn’t be that difficult–to make Eleanor fall deeply, irrevocably in love with him.

About Theo

9) He had a peculiar sort of personality that made him keenly aware of what he should and should not do but oblivious of what he could and could not do.

10) He felt an urge to cup the diamond in his hands and breathe on it, so it wouldn’t be cold when it touched the girl’s skin.

11) Then Theo caught her hand and gave it a ginger kiss, as if his answer had wounded her there, on the back of her hand, and not in her spirit.


I am always discovering new areas of my writing to polish, but taking time to celebrate some of my favorite sentences helps me find the energy to tackle problem areas.

Final note: I’m currently looking for beta readers for Eleanor. If you’re interested, please feel free to send me a message at milesmb3@gmail.com.

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “11 Sentences I’m Proud Of

  1. Your sample sentences are very, very good. While these sentences are tiny bits from the novel, they reveal quite a bit about each character. That in itself is amazing. The sentence describing Theo breathing on the diamond is just perfect. I really like that one. My other big fav is the Eleanor sent on “difficult to plot against a child…” That sentence definitely raised an eyebrow. :-).

    Well done…oh, my email is on the way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now that you’ve pointed it out, I see the suspense in the “difficult to plot against a child” sentence. It might be a good lead-in for a query letter (still working on those).

      Thanks for the encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

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